Therapy for Neurodivergent Adults (Autistic, ADHD, & AuDHD)…
… who’ve been told they’re “too weird”, “too much”, or “not trying hard enough”
Therapy for neurodivergent adults - with me, Carina (she/her), a neurodivergent-affirming CBT therapist who is experienced & accredited but very warm & genuine. Online all over the UK and internationally (with some exceptions).
Isn’t therapy for neurodivergent adults just… therapy?
It is… and it really isn’t.
Neuro-affirming therapy is, first of all, a space where your neurodivergent experience is understood - and therefore, not seen as something to be fixed. A space where the goal will never be to be more neurotypical - but instead, to work with your brain so you build a life that works for you, and in which you feel like yourself.
So, you’re welcome here, exactly as you are - whether you’ve had an Autism, ADHD, or both (AuDHD) diagnosis for a while, are newly-diagnosed, self-identifying, or exploring. You’re welcome to stim, look away, take a while to think and process, ask for another phrasing of what I’ve just said, go on tangents - I’ll be here to help ground you and make sure we’re using the time the way you find most helpful.
Being neurodivergent in a neurotypical world might look like…
Being told you think too much, or are too sensitive, reactive… too much
Being given unsolicited advice like “make lists” or “wake up earlier so you’re not late” - that just doesn’t match how your brain works
Being bullied, punished, ridiculed, isolated for your differences
Feeling stupid or behind
Sensory overload, executive function struggles, processing differences, struggling with unexpected changes and disruptions
Trouble figuring out or interpreting how you feel physically and emotionally
Feeling like you're failing at "simple" tasks everyone else manages, being called “unreliable”
Not fitting in, feeling unacceptable, too weird - linked to social exhaustion and feeling like you have to mask - which in turn comes with fatigue, burnout, and identity confusion
Struggling to say what you need and what your boundaries are
People (including therapists) trying to explain your experiences through neurotypical lens
If at least some of that sounds familiar, you’re in the right place.
Therapy for Neurodivergent Adults
Hi, I’m Carina, an accredited and experienced, but very human neurodivergent-affirming therapist, and I help neurodivergent adults who are tired of trying to make themselves fit into a world that wasn’t made for them move forward in a way that honours and celebrates them.
In therapy for autistic adults and for ADHD or AuDHD, we work with everything from overthinking and worrying, to knowing how you feel, expressing your needs, setting boundaries, and much more. Bit by bit, we get you to a point where you understand your mind and body better, and are therefore able to feel more grounded, and do things in a way that builds a more meaningful life, every day.
My main training is in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), but I'm the therapist for those who've tried CBT and it hasn't worked - as my blend of CBT is actually more Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and mindfulness, plus neuro-affirming (find my listing on the Neurodivergent Practitioner Community here), LGBTQIA+-inclusive, and trauma-informed.
Why therapy for neurodivergent adults is different
A lot of the world is set up to meet neurotypical, not neurodivergent needs. And not being able to meet neurotypical expectations will almost inevitably send the message that there’s something wrong with you.
Either explicitly - like someone telling you that you just need to “try harder” when you bloody are, or implicitly - like being the only one who doesn’t seem to get a joke when everyone else around you is laughing (the joke was probably bad, but pretending to find a bad joke funny is second-nature to neurotypical people, whereas you might struggle to just go along with the whole situation without overthinking it).
Existing in a world that wasn’t built for your brain is hard AF if you’re neurodivergent, and since people misunderstand you at best and demean you (if not worse) at worst, this will often affect your self-esteem, which can often sit alongside high-functioning anxiety or OCD, all of which might make you question yourself so much that you don’t know who you are and how to live the life you actually want - even (or especially) if you’re a high-achiever.
That’s where neuro-affirming therapy comes in. Not to fix your neurodivergence (there’s nothing to fix), but to undo the lifetime of trying (and naturally, ‘failing’) to essentially act neurotypical, and being criticised, bullied, abused for not managing this. To work on your self-esteem, your anxiety, your perfectionism, or anything else you may be facing - in a way that doesn’t have you fighting with your brain, but helps you understand it better, and use this to build a life that fits.
Therapy for Neurodivergent Adults
… to give yourself permission to build and live the neurodivergent-friendly life that works for you
Which means we’ll work with the way your brain works instead of trying to fight it - and normalise how you experience the world while helping you carve out your little neurodivergent corner of the world in which you can just BE.
We’ll help you:
Learn more about how low mood or anxiety show up for you and how to ‘catch’ the signs before they slip into overstimulation and burnout
Know what to do if you get to the point of struggling (that works for your neurodivergent brain)
Be able to do stuff that helps you in the way it helps you even if it’s different to the neurotypical way
But we’ll also go deeper, exploring and working with:
Beliefs (your fear of being your true self and not being accepted, of not being good enough)
Wider contexts (the neurotypical world that has shaped the way you’ve learned to cope)
We’ll challenge what’s unhelpful and honour everything you’ve been through and how your brain works. We’ll do it all together, at your own pace, in your own way.
And we’ll get you to a place where you give yourself permission to be your authentic, real, quirky self and live the life you want.
How therapy for neurodivergent adults can actually work
All of us humans go through certain experiences as we grow up - and these experiences massively influence how we see ourselves, other people, and the world (even if we’re not aware of it). These are our ‘core beliefs’, and alongside them, we also develop some general ‘rules’ we create for ourselves to feel safe in some way or another. Because we’re never really taught to question the role of our beliefs and rules, we tend to act as though they must be true and therefore, obeyed - so, they affect the way we operate in the world - in big and small ways.
Going through life as an autistic, ADHD, or AuDHD person, you’re unfortunately likely to be misunderstood, ignored, criticised, discriminated against, and so on - which often leads to beliefs like ‘I’m not good enough’ or ‘I’m unacceptable’, and rules like ‘I must keep my head down and not make a fuss’ or ‘If I express my needs, people will judge me’.
In therapy for autistic adults, or for ADHD or AuDHD, we discover your core beliefs and rules, understand how they influence every facet of your life, and learn to break the vicious cycles that keep you stuck - all the while honouring how your brain works, rather than fighting it. If we take the examples above (‘I am unacceptable’ / ‘If I express my needs, people will judge me’), this might look like:
Exploring what specific needs you may want to express, how this would benefit you, what values underpin this, and how you would like to show up even if you are judged; this is different to what ‘traditional’ therapy may suggest, which may be things like experiments and surveys to disprove these rules (without acknowledging the reality that people may be judgemental of neurodivergent needs), or exploring the standards of ‘acceptable’ and ‘unacceptable’ (and getting stuck because you may be looking at this through a neurotypical lens rather than seeing strengths such as pattern recognition or creativity)
Supporting you to develop a more helpful relationship to your thoughts, thought patterns, emotions - so you can first learn to notice them (which is sometimes trickier if you’re neurodivergent), and then learn to express your needs when you want to, and handle any outcome even if it’s difficult, in a way that works for you (no grinning and bearing)
Supporting you to start viewing the way your brain works as simply different, and making changes to support this, in a kind way
You won’t hear me say s**t like…
"Have you tried making lists?"
"Everyone's a little bit ADHD/autistic"
"You just need better self-control"
"Just focus on the positive"
“You must know how you feel, just tell me” (and if you don’t, “you’re resistant”)
“Everyone knows how to do that” / “No one does that”
“You just need to challenge yourself/push through it”
Instead, you might discover how to…
Work with your brain instead of fighting it
Communicate your needs without apologising (and feeling like an idiot)
Recognise your strengths, not just your challenges (and there are many strengths, but they’re often not the ones that the neurotypical society appreciates)
Build a life that fits your actual brain and needs, not society's expectations
Unmask safely and authentically - when you feel ready (no pressure!)
Navigate sensory and executive function challenges with compassion
Your neurodivergent-affirming therapist’s values & approach
Here’s the thing: I’m a former senior cognitive behavioural therapist in the NHS, a university supervisor, a mindfulness teacher, and I’ve worked in lots of different mental health services for many years, and also in academic research and healthtech. I also have 4 degrees (BSc Psychology, MSc Clinical Neuroscience, PGDip Psychological Intervention CBT, MSc Psychological Therapy).
I was also neurodivergence lead in my NHS service, and have attended trainings, read books, and learned from neurodivergent folks (professionals and clients) for many years - and am exploring my own possible neurodivergence.
But I think that all of that means squat if you don’t feel safe, heard, and understood by me. So, here’s what you can expect:
I use evidence-based, trauma-informed, affirming and inclusive approaches - CBT, ACT, and mindfulness - no BS, airy-fairy stuff, and no cluelessness as to the systems, culture, dynamics, and trauma that shape the way humans operate
I have an understanding of good research - I’ll know when old approaches have been disproven, or when new exciting discoveries have been made
I have practised mindfulness personally since 2015, and have had my own therapy, mostly based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) - so I know what it’s like to be on both sides
Humanity (I’ll never pretend to have it all figured out)
Imperfection (because no one is, and those who try probably make terrible therapists)
Openness (about what’s working and what isn’t, about what’s really going on, about… everything)
Silly sense of humour (because sometimes that’s the only thing that makes sense)
Interested in working together? I’m so glad!
You deserve a life that feels like yours.
Having said that, I know reaching out can be a bit of a nerve-racking (and also amazing) step. So, because everyone’s different, here are your options to get started (and a more detailed overview below):
If you feel most comfortable starting in writing, contact me via this form
If you’d like to see if we click live, book a free 15-min consultation by clicking the button below (‘book an appointment’)
If you’ve decided you want to go straight for an initial session to explore things in a bit more depth, book it by clicking the button below (‘book an appointment’)
Therapy sessions: £125/session
Book in week by week
Online therapy sowe can work together even if we live miles apart (apart from the US and Canada). And so you can show up in a familiar, comfy space, with a hot drink, and get to work with the best therapist for you, while getting the same benefits (research shows online therapy is just as effective as in person).
Here’s how it all works…
(Optional): Reach out in writing OR have a free 15-minute intro call
Everyone’s different - some people prefer to get a feel in writing first, others want to see if they connect with someone live. Or you might even be ready to try a first session directly. Choose what feels right for you!
1
Initial session (up to 60 minutes), during which we’ll discuss:
Current difficulties, some background and history, & impact on your daily life
Goals & previous experiences of therapy (if any) - what was helpful and what wasn’t
How this all may link together & how ACT/CBT could help
What you need to make this work best for you - and in fact, the first few sessions may just be centred on this - taking things bit by bit in a way that makes you feel safe and heard
Your first between-sessions task (on which we’ll both agree or maybe you’ll suggest)
2
Ongoing sessions (45-50 minutes), during which we will:
Go deeper on our shared understanding of what may have led to development of your difficulties, and what may be keeping them going (called a ‘formulation’), to use as a basis for your treatment plan - all neurodivergent-affirmative of course
Use a variety of interventions (ACT/CBT/mindfulness) to support you in achieving your goals
Set a plan / agenda at the start of each session to keep us on track (but this is not fixed and we can adapt according to your needs)
3
Ending therapy (which we both agree on):
We will discuss ending therapy a few sessions before the final one (and we will of course agree on this)
It’s natural to feel a little apprehensive about ending, so we really think together if it’s ‘just’ this, or if we’ve actually missed anything
During this final session, or perhaps last two sessions, we will work together to produce a summary of important points and a plan for the future
FAQs
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Ok, let’s get this one out of the way as it’s an obvious one.
I don’t have a neurodivergence diagnosis myself. If that’s a make-or-break criterion for you, I completely get it.
However, I am exploring my possible neurodivergence at the moment, as I strongly relate to a lot of experiences neurodivergent people relate to.
While there are pros and cons to working with a neurodivergent/neurotypical therapist (respectively), I find that the most important thing is how we gel. So I’’d say if you’re on the fence, maybe just contact me or book a free intro call and take it from there - no pressure whatsoever.
If it helps, I have successfully worked with lots of neurodivergent clients and it has been some of the most meaningful work I’ve done.
I also do get overstimulated, have misophonia, hate disruptions to routine I’d carefully planned, have a small social battery, and other stuff. It’s not the same as an official diagnosis and I don’t claim it is, but I’m not an extroverted carefree gal either.
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It may be for you if:
You often find yourself feeling not good enough, bending to other people’s will, and feeling confused and stuck - and you’re tired of brushing it off or trying everything under the sun without anything changing
You’ve tried other approaches and they’ve left you feeling invalidated, confused, or stuck
You want a neuro-affirming therapist who, while always being on your side, will sometimes gently call you up on your BS to help you move forward
You want to live more authentically and are willing to put in some work for this to happen (working with your brain and honouring it, that is)
(and also, like I said, you can reach out in writing or book a free 15-min intro call to ‘vibe’-check :-)
It may not be for you if:
You want an open, explorative space with no structure, practical skills, exercises, or things to do between sessions
You want to get rid of your difficult thoughts and feelings altogether and only experience positives
You are not ready to at least consider honouring your neurodivergence, and want to get rid of it instead
You want an uber-’professional’, blank-slate kind of therapist who will nod in agreement to everything you say and never challenge you
You want a quick fix or expect that things will change by you attending a session a week and continuing as you are outside of it
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No. While I work with neurodivergent clients in a therapist capacity, I am not trained to offer diagnoses of any kind.
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Absolutely not - you’re welcome here and we’ll work with how your brain works and honour your experiences regardless of whether you’ve had a diagnosis from childhood, are newly diagnosed, self-identifying, questioning, or anywhere in between.
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Short answer - almost. The only limitation is that I can’t offer therapy to clients based in the US or Canada due to licensing (and please note I work under UK jurisdiction, as I’m based and accredited in the UK).
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I’m online-based only at the moment - so all sessions take place on Zoom. I love online therapy as research shows it’s just as effective as in-person therapy, but we can work together even if we live miles apart, and you get the comfort and flexibility that comes with it. As long as we both have good cameras and microphones, we can recreate most, if not all, of what we would do in a therapy room. You get high-quality therapy AND you can show up in a familiar, comfy space, with a hot drink.
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ACT/CBT are goal-oriented and a therapy episode is usually completed in 3-6 months of weekly therapy sessions, but some people carry on for longer (we’re all different!)
The recommended frequency of therapy sessions is weekly - this is the ‘sweet spot’ frequency to allow for momentum to build but also allow for enough time for information to consolidate and skills to be practised between sessions
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I mainly specalise in working with adult (18+) high-achieving introverts, neurodivergent, and LGBTQIA+ clients (separately or combined).
I also specialise in working with dog phobia - see here.
Having said that, I am highly trained in working with a range of mental health difficulties, including stress, depression, generalised anxiety disorder, panic disorder, health anxiety, social anxiety, low self-esteem, perfectionism, phobias, obsessive-compulsive disorder (OCD), and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
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I generally do not work with people who present with severe and enduring mental health difficulties, including, for example, active symptoms of psychosis, or severe difficulties with emotional regulation - this is because such difficulties are best addressed in specialist services which consist of multi-disciplinary teams of clinicians.
Importantly and relatedly, I also do not work with people who are presenting with concerns related to their own safety or that of others - as in private practice I do not have access to professionals and facilities which would support managing such concerns, and therefore, it would be unsafe and unprofessional.
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I am not set up to provide crisis support, so I am not able to respond to any urgent queries between sessions, nor am I able to work with people who have concerns about their own safety or that of others.
If you are having such difficulties and are in the UK, please call 999 or go to A&E. You can also contact your GP or local NHS mental health service for urgent support, contact the Samaritans on 116 123, text Shout to 85258, or use the Stay Alive mobile app.
If you are outside of the UK, please contact your local emergency services.
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I have quite a few, bit of a nerd here :-) The most relevant ones are my PgDip in Psychological Intervention (CBT) from the University of Surrey, which I then topped up with an MSc in Psychological Therapies from the University of Exeter, and my accreditation with the BABCP (British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies) as both therapist and supervisor. I also completed the Mindfulness Teacher Training Pathway with The Mindfulness Network/University of Bangor.
I’ve done lots of continuous professional development trainings in neurodivergence, as well as my own reading.
I also hold a BSc (Hons) in Psychology from the University of York, an MSc in Clinical Neuroscience from UCL, and plenty of experience - read more about me here
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The type of therapy I offer is evidence-based and structured, goals-oriented, and forward-focused.
We’ll do in-the-moment stuff like helping you:
Learn more about how low mood or anxiety show up for you and how to ‘catch’ the signs before they slip into overstimulation and burnout
Know what to do if you get to the point of struggling (that works for your neurodivergent brain)
Be able to do stuff that helps you in the way it helps you even if it’s different to the neurotypical way
But we’ll also go deeper, exploring and working with:
Beliefs (your fear of being your true self and not being accepted, of not being good enough)
Wider contexts (the neurotypical world that has shaped the way you’ve learned to cope)
We’ll explore and get specific about how to shift things and move you forward in practical ways (think understanding where this stuff comes from AND learning to handle it differently). We’ll challenge what’s unhelpful and honour everything you’ve been through and how your brain works. We’ll do it all together, at your own pace, in your own way.
Read more about ACT here.
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You’re definitely not alone! Talking to a complete stranger about your deepest thoughts and feelings can feel quite daunting when you think about it, and I really get that - and many clients tell me the same thing.
That’s why I offer a few options so you feel as comfortable as possible:
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Not at the moment, no. It means fewer limitations around logistics (like number of sessions) for you, too!
… and breathe. You may just have found a way to go from exhausted from trying to fit into a neurotypical world that was not made for you to giving yourself permission to live a life that not only feels more authentic but also celebrates your beautifully unique experiences and mind.
I’m here when you’re ready.
Also consider intensive therapy as an accelerated alternative to weekly sessions
Concentrated therapy sessions that work with neurodivergent brains.