Therapy for Low Self-Esteem
… so that “I’m not good enough” can stop running your life
Self-esteem therapy based on CBT, ACT, and mindfulness - with me, Carina, an experienced & accredited but very warm & genuine CBT therapist. Online all over the UK and internationally (with some exceptions).
Struggling with low self-esteem?
You might not even call it low self-esteem. Maybe for you, it looks more like…
Overthinking everything and feeling exhausted
Feeling not good enough no matter how much you achieve
Fearing failure above almost anything else
Overdoing everything and/or avoiding challenging things to feel safe
Self-doubt that’s holding you back from being really, unapologetically yourself
If you’re furiously nodding, I’m so glad you’re here - because things can change.
Self-Esteem Therapy for Overthinkers
I’m Carina, an accredited and experienced, but very human therapist, and I help those whose lives seem ‘all put together’ from the outside, but inside, they feel inadequate and like they’ll be ‘found out’ any moment.
In therapy for low self-esteem, we work with the overthinking, the self-doubt, the overwhelm… and we get you to a point where you overthink and limit yourself less, understand yourself better and feel more settled, and know, deep down, that you are enough.
My main training is in CBT (Cognitive Behavioural Therapy), but I'm the therapist for those who've tried CBT for low self-esteem or overthinking, and it hasn't worked - as my blend of CBT is actually more Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) and mindfulness, plus neurodivergent-friendly and trauma-informed.
Unhook from the “there’s something wrong with me” loop, and be truly yourself.
There’s a link between low self-esteem, fear of failure, and being a high-achiever
There’s so much out there about what it means to have low self-esteem, or to be a high-achiever, that you may be convinced they both apply to you, or be really unsure. In reality, low self-esteem can overlap with things like high-functioning anxiety or OCD, and these patterns are often explored together in therapy for high-achievers.
In a world ruled by quick fixes, overpathologising, and urgency, I refuse to lose sight of nuance. So, I’ll try my best to explain, clearly and simply, what may be going on for you if you relate to what you’ve read so far.
Here we go: All of us humans go through certain experiences as we grow up - and these experiences massively influence how we see ourselves, other people, and the world (even if we’re not aware of it). These are our ‘core beliefs’, and alongside them, we also develop some general ‘rules’ we create for ourselves to feel safe in some way or another.
Because we’re never really taught to question the role of our beliefs and rules, we tend to buy into them and hold onto them pretty tightly - so, they paint the way we operate in the world - in big and small ways.
How low self-esteem might manifest itself
Beliefs such as…
“I’m not good enough”
“I’m a failure”
“I’m inadequate”
“I’m unacceptable”
Patterns of thinking and behaving such as…
Overdoing things - overplanning, overpreparing, overchecking
People-pleasing - prioritising others over yourself
Procrastination - postponing things so you don’t have to face them
Avoidance - of people, social situations, new things, challenges
Overthinking
Criticising yourself
Doubting yourself
Comparing yourself to others
Measuring your worth against your achievements or productivity
Rules such as…
“I must always do everything perfectly”
“If I say no, I’ll let people down”
“If I never try, I won’t fail”
“If I am myself, people will judge me”
What therapy for low self-esteem might look like
I’ll start by saying this is not about ‘thinking positively’, ‘fake it ‘til you make it’, or positive affirmations. It’s also not (only) a space to unload, vent, and explore. We do all of this, of course - we explore your experiences and beliefs, and we then also work on these in a way that honours them, not diminishes them, but also gently helps you get to a point where they don’t have as big an impact.
CBT for low self-esteem involves discovering your core beliefs and rules, understanding how they influence every facet of your life, and learning to break the vicious cycles that keep you stuck.
However, my specific blend of CBT leans heavily on ACT and mindfulness. Where ‘classic’ CBT may be at times be a little rigid in attempting to help you challenge your thoughts and beliefs by gathering evidence to the contrary, I’ll often approach things a little differently:
I might suggest we explore your values - the kind of person you want to be, and the kind of life you want to live - so that they can act as a compass (instead of the rigid rules you may have understandably developed and been living by).
I might get you to slow down and really start noticing what your mind comes up with moment by moment, and how you respond to it (instead of continuing to ‘buy into’ your thoughts and getting swept up in feelings that pull you away from who you want to be) - using mindfulness practices.
Instead of engaging in debates about whether your thoughts and beliefs are true or not, I might help you zoom out, and give you tools to learn how to handle your thoughts and emotions more wisely - so they no longer pull you away from the person you want to be.
And finally, I might support you to start doing things differently - things that perhaps scare you, but are worth it, because they make your life rich and meaningful.
Self-esteem therapy can help you…
Not get lost in overthinking or self-critical thought loops
Understand when self-doubt is creeping in and do what is important to you regardless
Continue to be a high performer without feeling exhausted
Find the sweet spot between procrastinating and overdoing things
Be present in your life and enjoy the little moments
Have more understanding and compassion for yourself
Put in boundaries without letting guilt take over
Know, deep down, that you are enough
So that you can have…
A slow, quiet morning with no rush and no pressure - coffee or tea, maybe a book, or a walk to feel grounded
Relationships that feel natural rather than forced, and where you can show up as yourself and that be accepted - because you’ve learned to advocate for yourself
A work life in which you play to your strengths without productivity becoming your entire identity
Hobbies and new things in your life that you can enjoy even if you’re bad at them
A “boring” life in the best way - slow mornings, cosy evenings, time with yourself or close people, space to savour what really matters
Your Self-Esteem Therapist’s Values & Approach
Here’s the thing: I’m a former senior cognitive behavioural therapist in the NHS, a university supervisor, a mindfulness teacher, and I’ve worked in lots of different mental health services for many years, and also in academic research and healthtech. I also have 4 degrees (BSc Psychology, MSc Clinical Neuroscience, PGDip Psychological Intervention CBT, MSc Psychological Therapy).
But I think that all of that means squat if you don’t feel safe, heard, and understood by me. So, here’s what you can expect:
I use evidence-based, trauma-informed, affirming and inclusive approaches - CBT for low self-esteem and overthinking; ACT, and mindfulness - no BS, airy-fairy stuff, and no cluelessness as to the systems, culture, dynamics, and trauma that shape the way humans operate
I have an understanding of good research - I’ll know when old approaches have been disproven, or when new exciting discoveries have been made
I have practised mindfulness personally since 2015, and have had my own therapy, mostly based on Acceptance and Commitment Therapy (ACT) - so I know what it’s like to be on both sides
Humanity (I’ll never pretend to have it all figured out)
Imperfection (because no one is, and those who try probably make terrible therapists)
Openness (about what’s working and what isn’t, about what’s really going on, about… everything)
Silly sense of humour (because sometimes that’s the only thing that makes sense)
Interested in working together? I’m so glad!
You deserve a life that feels like yours.
Having said that, I know reaching out can be a bit of a nerve-racking (and also amazing) step. So, because everyone’s different, here are your options to get started (and a more detailed overview below):
If you feel most comfortable starting in writing, contact me via this form
If you’d like to see if we click live, book a free 15-min consultation by clicking the button below
If you’ve decided you want to go straight for an initial session to explore things in a bit more depth, book it by clicking the button below
Therapy sessions: £125/session
Book in week by week
How self-esteem therapy with me works…
(Optional): Reach out in writing OR have a free 15-minute intro call
Everyone’s different - some people prefer to get a feel in writing first, others want to see if they connect with someone live. Or you might even be ready to try a first session directly. Choose what feels right for you!
1
Initial session (up to 60 minutes), during which we’ll discuss:
Current difficulties, some background and history, & impact on your daily life
Goals & previous experiences of therapy (if any) - what was helpful and what wasn’t
How this all may link together & how ACT/CBT could help
What you need to make this work best for you
Your first between-sessions task
2
Ongoing sessions (45-50 minutes), during which we will:
Go deeper on our shared understanding of what may have led to development of your low self-esteem, self-doubt, and what may be keeping them going (called a ‘formulation’), to use as a basis for your treatment plan
Use a variety of interventions (ACT/CBT/mindfulness) to support you in achieving your goals
Set a plan / agenda at the start of each session to keep us on track (but this is not fixed and we can adapt according to your needs)
3
Ending therapy (which we both agree on):
We will discuss ending therapy a few sessions before the final one (and we will of course agree on this)
It’s natural to feel a little apprehensive about ending, so we really think together if it’s ‘just’ this, or if we’ve actually missed anything
During this final session, or perhaps last two sessions, we will work together to produce a summary of important points and a plan for the future
FAQs
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It may be for you if:
You overthinking everything and feel exhausted
Feel not good enough no matter how much you achieve
Fear failure above almost anything else
Overdo everything and/or avoid challenging things to feel safe
Have self-doubt that’s holding you back from being really, unapologetically yourself
You’re tired of brushing it off or trying everything under the sun without anything changing
You’ve tried other approaches and they’ve left you feeling invalidated, confused, or stuck
You want a therapist who, while always being on your side, will sometimes gently call you up on your BS to help you move forward - using evidence-based approaches such as CBT, ACT, and mindfulness
You want to live more authentically and are willing to put in some work for this to happen
(and also, you can reach out in writing or book a free 15-min intro call to ‘vibe’-check :-)
It may not be for you if:
You want an open, explorative space with no structure, practical skills, exercises, or things to do between sessions
You want to get rid of your difficult thoughts and feelings altogether and only experience positives
You want an uber-’professional’, blank-slate kind of therapist who will nod in agreement to everything you say and never challenge you
You want a quick fix or expect that things will change by you attending a session a week and continuing as you are outside of it
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Short answer - almost. The only limitation is that I can’t offer therapy to clients based in the US or Canada due to licensing (and please note I work under UK jurisdiction, as I’m based and accredited in the UK).
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I’m online-based only at the moment - so all sessions take place on Zoom. I love online therapy as research shows it’s just as effective as in-person therapy, but we can work together even if we live miles apart, and you get the comfort and flexibility that comes with it. As long as we both have good cameras and microphones, we can recreate most, if not all, of what we would do in a therapy room. You get high-quality therapy AND you can show up in a familiar, comfy space, with a hot drink.
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ACT/CBT are goal-oriented and a therapy episode is usually completed in 3-6 months of weekly therapy sessions, but some people carry on for longer (we’re all different!)
The recommended frequency of therapy sessions is weekly - this is the ‘sweet spot’ frequency to allow for momentum to build but also allow for enough time for information to consolidate and skills to be practised between sessions
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My speciality is working with adult (18+) high-achievers whose fear of failure shows up as low self-esteem, fear of failure, self-doubt (as well as overthinking, anxiety, or OCD), and keeps them from living as their real, authentic selves.
I also have a particular interest and knowledge in working with people who are neurodivergent or LGBTQIA+.
And I also specialise in working with dog phobia - see here.
Having said that, I am highly trained in working with a range of mental health difficulties, including stress, depression, generalised anxiety disorder, panic disorder, health anxiety, social anxiety, low self-esteem, perfectionism, phobias, and post-traumatic stress disorder (PTSD).
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I generally do not work with people who present with severe and enduring mental health difficulties, including, for example, active symptoms of psychosis, or severe difficulties with emotional regulation - this is because such difficulties are best addressed in specialist services which consist of multi-disciplinary teams of clinicians.
Importantly and relatedly, I also do not work with people who are presenting with concerns related to their own safety or that of others - as in private practice I do not have access to professionals and facilities which would support managing such concerns, and therefore, it would be unsafe and unprofessional.
Finally, if I feel like your difficulties require a different kind of support than I can provide, I will always be honest with you and try to help you find the right support elsewhere.
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I am not set up to provide crisis support, so I am not able to respond to any urgent queries between sessions, nor am I able to work with people who have concerns about their own safety or that of others.
If you are having such difficulties and are in the UK, please call 999 or go to A&E. You can also contact your GP or local NHS mental health service for urgent support, contact the Samaritans on 116 123, text Shout to 85258, or use the Stay Alive mobile app.
If you are outside of the UK, please contact your local emergency services.
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I have quite a few, bit of a nerd here :-) The most relevant ones are my PgDip in Psychological Intervention (CBT) from the University of Surrey, which I then topped up with an MSc in Psychological Therapies from the University of Exeter, and my accreditation with the BABCP (British Association for Behavioural and Cognitive Psychotherapies) as both therapist and supervisor. I also completed the Mindfulness Teacher Training Pathway with The Mindfulness Network/University of Bangor.
But I also hold a BSc (Hons) in Psychology from the University of York, an MSc in Clinical Neuroscience from UCL, and plenty of experience - read more about me here
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The type of therapy I offer is evidence-based and structured, goals-oriented, and forward-focused.
We’ll do the in-the-moment stuff. But we’ll also go deeper, exploring both:
Beliefs (your fear of failure, vulnerability, proving yourself, or being your true self and not being accepted)
Wider context (the systems, culture, dynamics, and trauma that shape the way you’ve learned to cope)
We’ll spend time both exploring and using active interventions to help you unhook from the “I overthink everything” loop, so your true self has space to emerge and bloom.
Read more about ACT here.
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You’re definitely not alone! Talking to a complete stranger about your deepest thoughts and feelings can feel quite daunting when you think about it, and I really get that - and many clients tell me the same thing.
That’s why I offer a few options so you feel as comfortable as possible:
… and breathe. You may just have found a way to go from being terrified of being found out as a failure (and the overthinking, exhaustion, and discontent that goes with it) to a life where you can be authentically YOU, and know that’s enough.
I’m here when you’re ready.